"Welcome to Pavones, Costa Rica, the 2nd longest left point break in the world, and to Venus Surf Adventures, aka Venus Surf Camp for women, although you may come to think Venus Boot Camp more apt. Please be at the beach house by 6:25 am tomorrow, because we will leave for the beach precisely at 6:30 for your surf lesson. If you haven't yet reset your watch from Pacific time, that's 4:30 in the morning. It's an 8 minute walk from your hotel, so plan your departure accordingly, and add extra time if you need to apply sunscreen, etc, once you arrive.
"We'll be exiting the water by about 8:10 because breakfast starts at 8:30. Yes, our website does promise a 2-hour surf lesson per day, but you don't want to be late for breakfast, do you?
"Now that we've finished breakfast, please hurry back to your hotel to shower and change. We will leave for our 2.5-hour long jungle hike in half an hour.
"Too bad we're running late. Did you really have to make the 5 minute walk to the only landline phone in town to call home? I'm afraid now we'll have to skip swimming in the waterfall pool. Well, maybe we can squeeze in a quick dip, just in and out, then we have to get walking again, because we must be back for lunch at 1 pm. Too bad we only saw some cows, no monkeys or sloths or other forest mammals. No, I don't think it's because sensible creatures are sleeping during the hottest part of the day instead of traipsing about under the blazing sun.
"I hope you enjoyed lunch. You now have half an hour to relax before we collect you to walk to yoga class. After yoga, you will have a whole hour to yourself! Then it's on to dinner at 5 pm. Don't dawdle or we'll miss the sunset.
"What a nice dinner. Here we are back at your hotel, and it's only 7:30 pm. No TV, telephone, or other people around to bother you, and no noisy bars or restaurants or anything else nearby to disturb the solitude. Really, you should have thought to bring a group of friends with you, as we can't guarantee there will be anyone else attending our surf camp during the week you chose. Please do enjoy sitting in you barren room alone, reading a book until you fall asleep. You'll want to get to bed early anyway, since you need to be at the beach house by 6:25 sharp tomorrow morning. Don't be late!"
